However when I arrived home I was surprised to find a letter waiting for me on the dining table: `Your dinner’s in the supermarket.` I called her name but there was no reply. I searched every room until finally I found her, lying in the bath, surrounded by scented candles, reading THAT book. From that moment things would never be the same again. . .
I was excited, but nervous. I’d finally been accepted into the BDSM community – Builders, Decorators and Shed Maintenance.
“Are you sure you want this? I asked. “When I`m done you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.”
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot. . .
“Punish me,” she cried desperately. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.
We tried various positions- round the back, on the side, up against a wall. . . but in the end we came to the conclusion that the bottom of the garden was the only place for a really good shed.
“I am your master,” I commanded, “You will obey my rules.” She rolled her eyes and walked out of the shed. That was definitely it – I need to get a new cat.
“No,” she sighed, gazing sadly at the large stuffed crust Hawaiian with extra cheese, “I said I`m really turned on by orders from dominants.”